I am forever changed because of Adalyn Joy

I do not know if words can possibly begin to describe the events of this past week. It has been one of the darkest times, but in the midst of it all the Lord has been glorified in an incredible way by two of the absolute strongest people I have ever known or will know in my life. I saw the valley of the shadow of death and I saw two people who would not fear and continue to give God glory and trust Him no matter what.

Last Wednesday I got a text message from my friend Tasha telling me that she was worried she hadnt felt her baby kick and she was thirty five weeks pregnant. She had decided to go in to check things out just to be sure everything was ok. I thought in my mind oh im sure it is just because she is too big to move as much and said a quick prayer.As the day went on I carried my phone with me everywhere I went hoping for the best, but glancing down in concern wanting to know what they had found out. My mom happened to be in town that entire week, which turned out to be a total God thing, because we really needed her here with what we were about to experience. Hours had gone by and I kept mentioning it to my mom getting more and more worried as time went by, but thought maybe no good news is good news?

Matt and Tasha had been on a long journey trying to concieve a baby, it had been four years of trying and this baby was truly an incredible miracle and true gift of God. After hours of waiting I got a text from Matt saying "We couldnt find a heartbeat...going to emergency delivery... My jaw dropped, my heart ached and I had thought about the doctors appointments where it was tough to find a heartbeat because Samuel was at an odd angle or even during labor when I was terrified when the heartbeat went off the screen and we had to search and search until finally there it was. I hoped and prayed it was the same kind of thing.

I went immediately and told my mom and Logan and we all prayed together and were in shock and sadness. I was so sad for them and also for myself, because I already loved this precious baby and couldn't wait to watch her grow. Later that day Tasha was induced, because she had decided to have a vaginal birth instead of a C-section. It would prove to be a long and dark night for the Kosslers, but in it all I saw a display of love and faithfulness to God like never before as they continued to give God glory.

We visited that night and stayed "on call" for anything they might need. At 4:30 am we heard from Matt that things were getting intense with the contractions and it would be good if we came in an hour. God has a way of setting up perfect timing, because one my mom was here and we had the ability to go and two once we got there it was within the hour that Adalyn was born. Tasha was on the ground huddled in pain, she hadn't been given an epideral at this point and Matt was with her and his face showed such grief as he watched his amazing wife going through this battle. The song "God I Look To You" was playing in the room. We were praying, Matt was singing over his wife and praying, and poor Tash was in the awful pain I remember so clearly from only last month. "God I look to you, you're where my help comes from. Give me vision to see things like you do..Hallelujah our God reigns." was the song playing and the cry of their heart. Tears fell down my face as my desperate prayers filled my mind. What heartache, pain and sorrow I was witnessing, but at the same time what beauty, faith, hope, love and light I saw in the midst of this trial.

Two people who refused to become bitter, but only praise God all the more in one of the worst situations imaginable. God's presence filled the room in an incredible way. This is what it means to truly be a lover of God. As things got more intense Tasha called for the epideral, but within minutes right after she was put back on the bed Adalyn Joy Kossler was born. She was beautiful, perfect in every way. She had Tasha's nose and Matts lips...the room was full of emotion, but surprisingly and supernaturally it was joy. Matt said "though the sorrow may last through the night joy comes in the morning!" Adalyn joy was born around 6 am right as the sun is starting to come up.

We held her and cried, smiled, and cried, admired her, and cried...and even had moments of laugher. Matt and Tasha continued to have peace that passes all understanding and joy. The trial they have gone through and are going through is beyond words to say how deep the pain from it is, but through it all they give glory to God and both say even if they knew she would only live 35 weeks they would do it again.

I am honored to know these two people, they are truly some of the absolute strongest people I have ever known or will know. I am changed forever by what I experienced and I pray to the Lord that he would find me faithful as they have been faithful in such devastating times. Adalyn Joy is a treasure in my heart and I will love her forever. I am honored the Lord allowed Logan and I to be there for them and to see such faith. I will never be the same.