Love Is In Bloom

This is probably going to be completely random, because this is my speed blog I am typing while Samuel is beside me quietly playing with toys in his bassinet. This will probably last maybe five minutes so here I go! UPDATES... great, now that I find the time to blog I have nothing to say. I think up in my head all sorts of things I am going to blog about and then now I have the chance and my mind is completely blank.! just want to go to sleep now. Sorry. I thought this was going to be good. ;)

I have seriously been trying to write a blog for almost a month now and I can never seem to find a time. I love facebook and the fact it takes me under a minute to post a pic and say whats going on in our life that day. Blogging is another story.

I honestly believe the hardships I endured during my pregnancy and the food poisoning horror the week of his due date have caused me to treasure my reward from it all (Samuel) all the more. The sweetness and absolute joy of his existence in my life seems even more wonderful since it took so much hardship to finally have him in my arms. I knew the moment I saw him I would do it all again in a heartbeat even if I only had one day with him. Even if I have an easy pregnancy next time, I will still treasure my new baby, but right now I am just talking about this one. :) God sure does bring beauty from ashes and I see that so clearly in my life right now! I tear up at least once a day when I am looking at him, because my heart is so full of love that my weak human heart can't hold it all in! The good kind of tears now :)! I want to write down for my own sake things I want to make sure I never forget about this time. I never want to forget... -The way you wait in your bassinet in th

Today is Samuel's two month birthday! And how fast time has gone...I hope life slows down even a little, because I already miss these days and they are still here. ;) I am beyond amazed that God chose me to be Samuel's mom. God loves him even more than I do and he chose me to be the one to care for him on this earth, how amazing and sobering that is. He chose me to spend the long night hours with him when he can't sleep, to take care of him when he is sick, to be the one he looks for when he's sleepy, hungry or just needs comfort, to change all those diapers, clean up his baby messes, and wipe his tears. He chose me to be the one he smiles with, plays with, and discovers life with for the first time. He chose me to show him how to enjoy life, enjoy God, and enjoy people. He chose me to discipline and love him in the Lord, to raise him up into the man God wants him to be, to teach him about the Lord, and do all that I can to show him Jesus every single day in every sing

I do not know if words can possibly begin to describe the events of this past week. It has been one of the darkest times, but in the midst of it all the Lord has been glorified in an incredible way by two of the absolute strongest people I have ever known or will know in my life. I saw the valley of the shadow of death and I saw two people who would not fear and continue to give God glory and trust Him no matter what. Last Wednesday I got a text message from my friend Tasha telling me that she was worried she hadnt felt her baby kick and she was thirty five weeks pregnant. She had decided to go in to check things out just to be sure everything was ok. I thought in my mind oh im sure it is just because she is too big to move as much and said a quick prayer.As the day went on I carried my phone with me everywhere I went hoping for the best, but glancing down in concern wanting to know what they had found out. My mom happened to be in town that entire week, which turned out to be a t

1 Corinthians 4:8-9 "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." Little did I know in my last two blog posts about how hard things were at the end of the pregnancy that the darkest days of my life so far were ahead of me before my precious son would be born. It started with me having all the symptoms of a bad stomach virus and included a fever on a Friday afternoon and ended up worsening as the days went by. I was uncontrollably sick to my stomach and Poppy ended up bringing me an IV at home to help get me get hydrated, but when I continued to throw up bile and my fever kept going up I was sent to the hospital. I thought I would only be staying hours, but little did I know it would be days before I saw home again. I wish I could say the next few days were a blur, but unfortunately I remember every haunting hour and sleepless moment of absolute torture that I went thr

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Rejoice always,pray continually,give thanks in all circumstances;for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." I am going on night number seven of not sleeping due to being sick and in a lot of pain. The hours of the night have been my dread, as the sun goes down I feel a haunting feeling of another dark night coming my way. I have been overwhelmed by how much the Lord has kept me going and the nearness of his presence in the hardest of times. I truly can say I have never been through something so torturous and full of literal horror. My Logan has been so strong for me and helped me so much, he too feels like these have been his darkest hours.God has highlighted this verse to me over and over again during this time:1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Rejoice always,pray continually,give thanks in all circumstances;for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." Not only has he highlighted this to me, but he has given me strenth to live it out. He

As I was trying to think of a title for this I felt too overwhelmed to be able to make one up, so I used Beth Moore's advice to speak the name of Jesus. Jesus. What a sweet sound...the sound of my savior, comforter, strength, joy, protector, provider, and well, everything that sustains me! My light and my salvation, the one who will never forsake me and will help me through any situation. I had another horror filled sick to my stomach day that made me feel like id rather be anyone but me when I feel so overwhelmingly in pain and agony. It seriously brought me once again to the end of my rope physically and emotionally with this pregnancy. I hear women say their baby moving is the most precious feeling in the world, but for me it is what causes me to regurgitate even water! I have a super short torso that on the ultrasound showed Samuel was using my actual stomach as a push toy with his big 3 inch feet. I feel sorry for him, he is probably wishing for more space. :) I of course trea

I reallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly am ready to not be pregnant anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like God has given me an incredible gift to be able to spend my last month of pregnancy with my family and life-long friends. Logan and I got to spend FOUR days at the lake with my family this past weekend!I have never been able to be in town long enough for more than one full day at the lakehouse,since we didnt get it until I graduated HS. We had three FULL days at the lake!!! It was amazing to say the least. :) I dont take time with my family for granted, because sadly its few and far between. We are excited if we get to see each other every other month and just happy if it isnt 10 weeks before we see each other next. This is an unquenchable ache for me and my family, but God is gracious and gives me so much to be joyful about when I am away and has kept my relationships with my family members and life-long friends as strong as ever. When you really love people no amount of time or mileage will keep you from being close. A perfect example of this is my aunt Marci, Uncle Rick,

This post is completely opposite of my last post! I have been revived and my sanity has made it's way back to me! I finally made it to Arkansas and have spent a couple days at the lake enjoying family,nature,God's presence, and lots of WATER FUN! Being in water is one of my absolute favorite things. I feel completely myself, excited, happy, vivacious, alive, and most importantly not sick when I'm bopping in waves of some sort! The Lord is so gracious to me and when I get to a low point he always lifts me up and revives my soul. :) I am happy,healthy, and sain! No tears today AND I'm getting a pedicure soon thanks to my mom. Nail art makes life better if you ask me ;) Enjoy your family and friends this weekend! Happy 4th and God bless America:)))

I'm just going to be totally honest here, up until this week I prided myself in not being a crazy pregnant lady! A sick pregnant lady,yes, a pregnant lady who needs certain foods pronto, sure! (but I crave certain foods always, who doesn't get cravings for a brownie or cheese dip?!) but absolute crazed look out she's nuts hadn't hit with much force until after my trip to the ER Saturday! I think I left my sanity in the iv bag...or the hospital bathroom! Whatever it was that happened to me this weekend, virus/ food poisoning it was the worst pain I have ever been in and that's saying a lot with the countless nights of food poisoning-like sick sessions I've had these past 8 months! I literally thought if this isn't labor I don't know what is, but my DR did say labor pains come and go, but these never left so that's a relief to know. This experience brought me over the edge bc not only am I just sick of being sick (symptoms date back to when I couldn

My life has officially become what I pretended it was when I was little. Well, almost give it two months and I'll really be there! I always wanted to play house and asked for Lee Middleton babydolls for Christmas until I was probably way too old to still be wanting them. My real life doll will be here soon and I am getting more and more excited about it! Although im guessing playing house 24/7 with a baby that screams and poops and keeps me up all night (you don't want to see me without sleep,it's simply barbaric) probably won't feel like playing pretend house, but I know I'm about to go into one of the most precious stages of life that flies by in a blink of an eye and I don't want to miss a thing! I am ready to play house for real, bring it on! My life has consisted of reading books about being a godly mother and wife and I have enjoyed learning and finding mentors that can give me advice. I want to do this mommy thing right,I feel the weight of such a big res

"From his abundance we have all received one gracious blessing after another." John 1:16 I have been blown away and overwelmed by the goodness of the Lord to our little family. Looking back to the day we found out we were going to have a baby I am just overcome with thankfulness and amazement at how much God has paved the way for Samuel's arrival from health insurance needs, to housing needs, to babystuff needs and more. It was miraculous that I had maternity insurance maybe just a month or two before we found out about Samuel! Before that, we would have been in a tough place insurance wise and would have been in debt after this baby. I have been taken care of by a doctor since we were only 5 and a half weeks along and am so thankful for all the medical provision and appointments that I have been able to go to. We are SO thankful for this! I am still amazed everyday when I wake up in the miracle house that God provided for us! Only months ago I thought I would be

I have been thinking a lot lately about what God wants to teach me during this time of pregnancy. I have been sick A LOT and have had a pretty tough time being preggo, but thankfully when I have been uncomfortable, Samuel has been perfectly comfortable! :) he has been healthy, active, and nourished even when I have felt my worst. One lesson I know i am learning is a little bit about the sacrifice of motherhood and how it strips away selfishness in many ways. Even from the beginning I have had to give up my own personal comfort for the sake of another's livelihood! Automatically every day is spent not just thinking about myself, but about the little life inside me that is completely dependent. A mother does not have the choice to be selfish when it comes to being a mommy, someone else's life depends on her sacrifice. I know the responsibility will only increase when he comes and even though being sick has been hard I am thankful for the lesson of losing my own comfort for the sa

I am officially trying to work out 6 days a week! It is a tough goal but in good weather it should be fun to walk!

Growing up in my teenage years all the way up until I met Logan in college freshman year I struggled with severe acne. It isn't one of those things I'm exaggerating or thought was bad and really wasn't, it truly in all honesty was just a very severe case of acne. The pain physically and emotionally that it caused me was deeper than I can find words to say and it was only the power of God that could heal my pain. I got on the drug accutane and it changed my skin to almost perfect and changed my life in a way! Even after my skin was clear I had deep scars that were a constant reminder of what had been there. Thanks to my mom and aunt Sabrina i was able to get skin regeneration called fraxile three times which was painful, but so worth the result of no scars! I used to not look in a mirror when i washed my hands, afraid to look at the imperfections that stared back at me. It is amazing to be able to confidently look in a mirror and find clear skin when for so many years that w

Hello! I am very bad at blogging but don't worry, when baby or the babies (i still have hope for twins) arrive I will keep y'all very posted and will bombard facebook and blog with pics! Yesterday marked my 14th week of pregnancy which I have been looking forward to for a long time! Supposedly that is when I was supposed to feel good again...but instead my head remained in the toilet and a migraine was added to the mix. I did go out with a friend for an hour, which was good until I turned green! Yesterday was a bad scenario bc I forgot my key and don't like to throw up in public, people get weird about it and i have to say "sorry pregnant" so they know I won't give them a disease. No one likes hearing this or being around this and I respect that it is just a bummer when I am locked out of my apartment. My friend drove me to Logan's school where I frantically looked and asked for him all the while knowing it was only a matter of time until I became a human

I was overjoyed yesterday to be able to hear my baby's heartbeat! I have to admit I had been worried about this visit and hopeful everything would be alright. Well, it was! :) I have been very sick recently, but since yesterday I have been feeling better. Part of me thinks that is bc I feel like I have purpose again! Feeling sick for weeks at a time has made me feel a little useless. Now more than ever I know nothing I go through for this baby is in vain! Thank you Lord!