Love Is In Bloom

" For our light and momentary afflictions are preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." I can truly say, I know what suffering feels like. Having symptoms of the stomach flu constantly day and night for weeks at a time due to excessive nausea in pregnancy has humbled me beyond words. To barely feel alive and get to the point where my son stopped reaching for me, knowing someone else was the one who was taking care of him and that mommy wasn't smiling or even out of bed for the day. Heart breaking. Affliction. Suffering. Why me? Why does pregnancy give some people a glow and me, feeling like I'm on my death bed? I don't think I'll ever know the answer, but I know the glory that is to come from this suffering far outweighs it all. I am not out of the woods yet, at ten weeks pregnant, BUT God has already done a miracle in me allowing me to function. Samuel reaches for me again as well:) I am on many medications and pray to be able to

        Tonight I rocked Samuel into a deep sleep until every chubby finger had stopped rubbing his hair and blankie. I heard sweet baby snores and memorized every detail of his precious face, because you see...tomorrow he turns one. I took it all in knowing that this would be the last night I held him while he was 0 ever again. I am overwhelmed by this past year and all that it has meant to me. How could one year be SO meaningful? I know my heart has grown at least two sizes to contain all the love having a son causes. I am changed forever by what happened one year ago. A year ago, today....                               I was in labor. A year ago today...                               I had just come out of one of the hardest times of my life when I was sicker than I have ever been or hope to be when I was hospitalized with salmanilla. I had only been home one full day. A year ago today...                               I had no idea what tomorrow would mean to me. I had no id

         This afternoon I had the rare opportunity to go out to late lunch/early dinner by myself. Logan had some down time before going to an evening prayer walk and Samuel was in a deep sleep, so I knew it was my chance to go on a small adventure three minutes away to...TJ'S!!!!! Some of you may have heard me talk about this recently, because finally one of my dreams came true by simply going there on Sunday with Logan. I have driven past it so many times wondering what it would be like...imagining the "oh i'll have the usuals" and "its nice to see you again in here for the third time this week Mr. Brown" TJ's would be a place for "Mr. Brown" to go get his meals when his wife of 60 years passed away and he needed that taste of home cookin or a listening ear in the waitress who is practically family now since she has worked there for so many years. You see, Mr. Brown and his wife came in every Thursday and Sunday. Not to mention their morning

        Men of all ages are destined to be leaders of something or someone no matter who they are. They may be the leader of a company, church small group, family, a country, an athletic team, etc. the sky is the limit! Even if the only thing they ever lead is their wife and family it is a huge calling that influences those around him. Men of all ages have someone that influences them the most and you know what I realized? It is the women in their life. Every woman holds the heart of a man. A mother first, a sister, that crush at school, girlfriend, fiance, and one day their wife holds the power to tear them down or build them up the most. Of course I believe in their strength to carry on, but we all know, when we encourage them they soar and when we discourage them they have a tough time overcoming it.        For me, I think about my husband and my son. They are the men in my life that God gave me to be an influence in their lives. I am someone who could really encourage them and hel

Don't it always seem to go That you don't know what you've got till it's gone They paved paradise and put up a parking lot Shoo-bop-bop-bop-(Big Yellow Taxi) Amy Grant version ;)           If you are around me long enough there are a couple of songs that you will hear me reference regularly, like they are sort of a theme song of life for me. I am not a hippie, nor did I really know what this song was about when I first heard it on Amy Grant's cd many years ago, but to this day I reference it almost weekly. I use it in reference to do the opposite and be someone who knows what ive got BEFORE its gone. That is why I sing it. To remind myself that I have so many treasures in my life RIGHT NOW to enjoy and love that one day I will wish to have back. It keeps me positive and enjoying what I have now instead of always wanting to move to the next step in life. I wanna know what ive got before "they" put up a parking lot shoo-bop-bop-bop! And for the record,

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."          I am not sure who reads my blog, but my past one was seen 235 times, so I am encouraged to keep writing when I can. Thanks to all who read, it means a lot! This morning I was feeling discouraged about still only having one car to share with Logan and waking up super early every morning, because my baby is an early bird who is teaching me to catch the worm. ;) I hate mornings, and ive always thought before the 7 am hour was just depressing and horrible. I still think that...:) BUT i'm trying to see what the morning people see in it and I am not giving up hope that the dark morning hours have something worth waking up for other than the headache and slight nauseas feeling I have knowing that it is only 5 am. Jesus got up that early, Proverbs 31 woman did too. There has to be something worthwhile! I am currently reading MIRACLES FOR WOMEN by Karen Kingsbury (a page here and th

Once again, Samuel went to bed at seven and Logan is at Youth service. Maybe Saturday nights will be when I blog. :) I spent the past hour thumbing through a marriage book by Bill and Carolyn Wellons called GETTING AWAY TO GET IT TOGETHER and right now getting away seems like a far off dream, but we plan to do the activities on dates for now. It looks like a lot of fun! I want to retake the servants by design test and have Logan take it too. It is amazing how much it tells you about how God designed you specifically. Supposedly some tornados could conjur themselves up tonight, but I am feeling at peace. I threw a baby shower today and it caused me to be away from Samuel for four hours and the poor fellow couldnt stand it. It is really sweet how much he is attached to me. He was so happy to be with me for the rest of the night and fell asleep really easily after I hugged and kissed on him for a long time. He giggled so much when I smooched his sweet cheeks! Night

Logan is at youth service tonight and Samuel went to bed at 7:20, so I have time to myself tonight. Crazy. right? ;) I forgot what it was like to have a few hours to myself. I chose to spend the first part of it watching the sunset out our back window in the kitchen talking to God. It got me thinking about home. For a while now I have had this longing in my soul to be somewhere familiar. My house, now that we have lived here a year is familiar, yes, but something inside of me hasn't been able to feel that "ah, im finally where I belong" feeling. I go to Little Rock where I grew up and enjoy time with my family, but I miss the familiarity of my house, bed, sites, and sounds of Kansas City. The trains for one. They are always a faint ghostly background noise no matter where you are. I first found it annoying, but now I find it refreshing. It means I am "home", right? When I am here in Kansas City I long for the familiarity of Little Rock. Hinson Road, Heavenly Ham

All of my life I have been involved in church, thanks to my parents to start off with and to Jesus who, once I got to really know Him made me want to obey the Bible and the Bible says to not neglect meeting together with other believers. I have also felt called to actually DO ministry in the structured form of a Christian organization (of course every job is a ministry no matter what it is!) since I turned 14. I worked at a summer camp, in several churches, spent four years in a Bible major at college, been involved with Younglife, K-life, small groups, women's ministry, youth ministry, children's ministry, and though technically not on staff, I am involved with the house of prayer here in KC and with youth ministry via Logan's job. ;) Oddly enough, I've worked in a different denominational setting in almost everything I've done as well, so I've seen a lot from potlucks, to revivals, dancing and raising of hands, just standing or sitting in worship, scream

View our January Newsletter now! This month's headlines: Molly's latest blog reflects on 2011 and motherhood, over 25,000 attend the Onething Conference in Kansas City, the New Year brings new student leaders and Logan shares a brief video about the history of prayer in school! Sign up to receive our monthly ministry newsletter automatically every month to your email!

Bringing in the new year I can't help, but reflect on the past year and even years. My life literally went into the fast lane starting in 2009 when I dated Logan (and had a Hallmark movie year) and got engaged. 2010 I got married to my soul mate (I seriously couldn't imagine anyone better for me), graduated college, and at the very end of it found out I was pregnant. 2011 I spent throwing up, feeling nauseous, going to the emergency room, getting hospitalized for food poisoning, buying a house, and finally all of this brought me my better-than-I-could-have-ever-dreamed-of son! I cannot say enough how much everything was SO worth every single moment of pain and sickness. In the middle of all that I did have good days, such as going to the beach and even tubing on the lake when I was in my last month of pregnancy. I also worked for a few months at a daycare, which is a blur to me now and seems so long ago. One of the best things about 2011 was spending my last months in