My Two Cents

My Two Cents

This is not your average "mommy blog", although it will be about mommy blogs.;)  I had a married friend, not yet with children remark how she hated mommy blogs, because so many were whiney and full of complaints about how they didn't even have time to brush their teeth or wear makeup or do anything that sounds remotely fun to an adult woman (but somehow had time to blog, be on facebook, and respond to comments) 😗  I feel like this is a post to simply take the fear out of women who aren't moms yet and all they have to go on are these "blogs", which in reality is one person's two cents, not everyone's reality. You don't have to be afraid you'll never put on real pants again if you're a stay at home mom... YOU choose your clothes, YOU choose how to spend the time, YOU choose to make brushing your teeth a reality! 

          I have to admit my stomach starts to churn if I read an average mommy blog about a "stay at home mom". They have titles like "A Messy Mom is a Good mom" and the the natural come back blog of the type A mom that states "You can have a clean house and still be a great mom" (in my mind I applaud anyone with a clean house, I've never been a very organized person) Then you have the blogs about the daily life of a mom that are partly personality driven with quotes like: "I haven't changed my clothes in days", "I never have time to shower or brush my teeth", "I feel like I just went through a spin cycle and can't even tell my husband what I did all day.", "my friends are people on facebook", "I haven't left the house in days, I don't even know how to have an adult conversation anymore". I validate that these people really felt that... I just want to put a swing on things and say it doesn't HAVE to be like that. (Except Days in the newborn stage, give yourself a break- you've just had a baby and been awake all night with a bundle of cuteness, but that doesn't make the tiredness go away.;) 

       What I mean by its really up to you is this: You can brush your teeth, you can take a shower, you can leave the house and have friends... If it's what you want to do. I brush my teeth 6 times a day (im OCD about my teeth) and I shower everyday, sometimes twice. I can't think of a time I didn't do that. It's a priority to me. (And my kids definitely cry about it. Evelyn cries right outside my shower) It's OK for kids to not be 24/7 happy. If you want to dress up and go out of the house with your kids, you can do that. If you want to wear a t shirt when you go, that's your choice. I usually choose a t shirt on kid outings, but you see, I chose this before being a mom too. The kids and I both go stir crazy if we don't leave the house. It's really, really rare for us to stay home a  full day. We love to do things with friends, visit family members, and seek out adventures even if it's cold or rainy. That's a priority for me. I make it happen, because our personalities need it to happen to thrive. 

      I'm glad to have several reasons a week I HAVE to wear make up and dress up, for everyone else's sake. Anyone who knew me before having kids though, knew I didn't always wear make up. It's not new, it's me. In high school as soon as I got home from anything, I automatically put on my pajama pants. I do still do that at home, but that's just because that is ME and always has been. I can wear anything I want, I don't have to not dress up. I like going places and putting on other clothes, but at home I am comfy. My mom has always been dressed with make up on at home for as long as I can remember. She also had the house cleaned up at the end of the day and through the day even when she had four kids five and under. If it's your priority, for the most part it still can happen, it just takes work.  My house is a mess, because I am a mess, not because I'm a particularly great mom as some articles will say. My kids do turn it upside down and we have too many toys to count which adds to it all, but it comes down to its not a priority for me to have my house organized when I go to bed. Id rather spend time not cleaning! This is just a confession of who I've always been.:))) I look up to people who stay organized and on top of things. If you are a clean person, it will be messy during play, but you can pick up and teach your kids to pick up and be an amazing mom for it. Samuel recently took up the hobby of vacuuming and it's opening a whole new world to me on how to make cleaning fun!;)

        In the full time "at home" mom job, there is chaos, there is the full time job of disciplining when needed, etc etc and some seasons of learning are harder than others, but on most days my good moments outweigh my bad. I am tired from doing fun things with my fun kids as much as from all their needs, and the effort consistency takes in disciplining and making sure I stay the one in charge of this house. I can tell you exactly what I did each day to feel as exhausted as I feel at bedtime. It's different everyday for us, but I can promise you it entailed moments of laughter, fun, hugs, kisses, play, and yes negative moments too, but wouldn't that be anywhere? Life is life whatever the season. Good, bad, ugly, beautiful, fantastic, mundane, adventurous.... Enjoy learning what your two cents are as a mom and living out your priorities. Your family needs YOU for who you are and not for what everyone else seems to look like. I love how I can learn from differences and even change things that need to be strengthened. I'm not stuck even in the way I am now. I always have room to grow.