The Golden Year
I sit here tonight staring at a new season in our family's life just on the horizon. I see it with the floaties for the pool put up in storage this week, as my kids learned to swim. I see it in ordering school supplies for both kids, I see it in not being needed as much, I see it in actually having time to read a book, I see it in the way every day my kids look less and less like babies and more and more like KIDS. I see it in their hilarious sentences that show the depth of their personality and creative minds at work, I see it in their craving of figuring out life and relationships, I see it in their spiritual curiosity as well. We are entering the true childhood stage, babyhood is getting farther away in my mind's rear view mirror and looking at old photos, things have changed so much in just a few years. Seeing baby announcements and maternity photos feels like a dream that it happened to me before. Those times are feeling farther and farther away.
The BABY of the house is four and that is a very weird reality, especially since in September we had a newborn boy who was seemingly going to stay in our family forever. I thought we had more years of babyhood, and who knows what tomorrow brings, but for now this where we are. We aren't in the baby stage any more and amazingly, I am at peace and also happy about that fact. Our long peaceful roadtrips this Summer are proof that sometimes things really do get better with time!;) We lived up babyhood, we soaked it in and now its time for what the next stage holds...and I couldn't be more excited!
God's grace and mercy has a really amazing way of showing up right in time in unexpected ways as the seasons change. This past year has been what I call "The Golden Year". Its been the year before Samuel starts kindergarten and before Evelyn will do Pre-k Four. Evelyn has been home with me full time until this coming school year. It has been a time of focused attention on each other, a time of peace in our life situation, a time of non stop fun and memories. This past year has been full of restoration, strengthened souls, and beautiful days. The kids and I meaningfully didn't do a lot with friends, because the kids specifically said they wanted it to just be "us" more. I wanted to spend more time playing with them and less time talking to my friends when at parks etc. I could see the clock ticking on life and I didn't want to miss a thing, especially now that we weren't fostering and I never know what tomorrow brings. I wanted to pour my heart and soul into Samuel and Evelyn fully again and instead of staying sad about the adoption that didn't go through, to thank God for the children he did have for me and that are right in front of me.
This year was nothing short of a miracle in the fact it was just so much fun. The kids got along well, we went on adventures, we basked in the sunshine, smelled the flowers, and found joy in the little things. We went to the pumpkin patch so many times, we were even there through them tearing it down. We picnicked, we saw my mom multiple times a week and she came on many of our adventures. Honey has done life with us!! She is a part of the "just us" my kids are referring to, a very vital part of our group!;) Samuel was five, Evelyn was three(just turned four) in this golden year. Their ages being so tender and bright eyed made life seem so magical. The golden year was like reaping a reward from the terrible twos when I felt like training with determination and conviction, along with loving intensely was my full time job. I feel like just getting to enjoy the quirks,wonder and hilarity of who these two people are was more of my full time job than it could be before. I loved that. I love getting to know them more.:)
Looking back at a year ago, June was one of the most shaking times in our life, both with Logan's job and our first fostering goodbye. What I didn't know then that I know now is that those shakings would be unto so many beautiful things and our life would not be worse for the ware, but better. Arkansas For Christ has been such an awesome experience and we see God opening doors all around us. Everything about it has brought peace and good things and I thank God for that. We had no idea a year ago when it was getting started, that it would even last. It has been above our hopes and expectations and I love seeing God at work so tangibly right in front of our eyes.
I am still in touch with the birth families of our foster babies and it has been such an amazing experience. I am humbled by and grateful for all the ways God continues to bless my life through these people and how I get to stay in touch with the babies that hold my heart forever. Their families hold my heart just as tightly and the bigger picture of what God is doing has become more apparent to me. I used to think my family was about me, that I would have a certain amount of kids or adopt someday. Now I see more than ever that my family is about eternity, about bigger pictures and plans. There is a reason I have the kids I do, there are seasons and God shows us when its time to step out and when its time hold onto what is already right there. This year was holding onto what we already have and enjoying each other with faith and gratitude. It was a season of rest, and enjoyment. I thank God for the many seasons life brings and that he let us have this year to love on each other so intentionally.
The wind of change is blowing, I cried tears in the Spring worried about not getting to see Samuel all day when he is in Kindergarten, but life has a way of making growing pains happen at just the right time to help the letting go get a little bit easier. I can tell he is going to be ready. I can tell I need to let go just a little bit more. I can see for the first time I am actually a little bit looking forward to less time with kids. (it has to just be grace bc im prone to helicopter and try not to;) Motherhood is a process of letting go after all, but always the heart holds on tightly. My heart holding tightly will fuel my prayers, but the action of slowly letting go when the time is appropriate will allow my kids to become who they are meant to be. I know they are in God's hands. I know I am, too. Thank you, Lord for this golden year. Thank you for helping me soak up the moments that pass so quickly and for giving me the best kids ever!
This Golden Year couldn't have happened without you, Samuel and Evelyn. Thanks for being so much fun and making me laugh! I am so excited for the adventure of childhood and all the new and exciting things that come with it. Let it begin!!!!!!!
The BABY of the house is four and that is a very weird reality, especially since in September we had a newborn boy who was seemingly going to stay in our family forever. I thought we had more years of babyhood, and who knows what tomorrow brings, but for now this where we are. We aren't in the baby stage any more and amazingly, I am at peace and also happy about that fact. Our long peaceful roadtrips this Summer are proof that sometimes things really do get better with time!;) We lived up babyhood, we soaked it in and now its time for what the next stage holds...and I couldn't be more excited!
God's grace and mercy has a really amazing way of showing up right in time in unexpected ways as the seasons change. This past year has been what I call "The Golden Year". Its been the year before Samuel starts kindergarten and before Evelyn will do Pre-k Four. Evelyn has been home with me full time until this coming school year. It has been a time of focused attention on each other, a time of peace in our life situation, a time of non stop fun and memories. This past year has been full of restoration, strengthened souls, and beautiful days. The kids and I meaningfully didn't do a lot with friends, because the kids specifically said they wanted it to just be "us" more. I wanted to spend more time playing with them and less time talking to my friends when at parks etc. I could see the clock ticking on life and I didn't want to miss a thing, especially now that we weren't fostering and I never know what tomorrow brings. I wanted to pour my heart and soul into Samuel and Evelyn fully again and instead of staying sad about the adoption that didn't go through, to thank God for the children he did have for me and that are right in front of me.
This year was nothing short of a miracle in the fact it was just so much fun. The kids got along well, we went on adventures, we basked in the sunshine, smelled the flowers, and found joy in the little things. We went to the pumpkin patch so many times, we were even there through them tearing it down. We picnicked, we saw my mom multiple times a week and she came on many of our adventures. Honey has done life with us!! She is a part of the "just us" my kids are referring to, a very vital part of our group!;) Samuel was five, Evelyn was three(just turned four) in this golden year. Their ages being so tender and bright eyed made life seem so magical. The golden year was like reaping a reward from the terrible twos when I felt like training with determination and conviction, along with loving intensely was my full time job. I feel like just getting to enjoy the quirks,wonder and hilarity of who these two people are was more of my full time job than it could be before. I loved that. I love getting to know them more.:)
Looking back at a year ago, June was one of the most shaking times in our life, both with Logan's job and our first fostering goodbye. What I didn't know then that I know now is that those shakings would be unto so many beautiful things and our life would not be worse for the ware, but better. Arkansas For Christ has been such an awesome experience and we see God opening doors all around us. Everything about it has brought peace and good things and I thank God for that. We had no idea a year ago when it was getting started, that it would even last. It has been above our hopes and expectations and I love seeing God at work so tangibly right in front of our eyes.
I am still in touch with the birth families of our foster babies and it has been such an amazing experience. I am humbled by and grateful for all the ways God continues to bless my life through these people and how I get to stay in touch with the babies that hold my heart forever. Their families hold my heart just as tightly and the bigger picture of what God is doing has become more apparent to me. I used to think my family was about me, that I would have a certain amount of kids or adopt someday. Now I see more than ever that my family is about eternity, about bigger pictures and plans. There is a reason I have the kids I do, there are seasons and God shows us when its time to step out and when its time hold onto what is already right there. This year was holding onto what we already have and enjoying each other with faith and gratitude. It was a season of rest, and enjoyment. I thank God for the many seasons life brings and that he let us have this year to love on each other so intentionally.
The wind of change is blowing, I cried tears in the Spring worried about not getting to see Samuel all day when he is in Kindergarten, but life has a way of making growing pains happen at just the right time to help the letting go get a little bit easier. I can tell he is going to be ready. I can tell I need to let go just a little bit more. I can see for the first time I am actually a little bit looking forward to less time with kids. (it has to just be grace bc im prone to helicopter and try not to;) Motherhood is a process of letting go after all, but always the heart holds on tightly. My heart holding tightly will fuel my prayers, but the action of slowly letting go when the time is appropriate will allow my kids to become who they are meant to be. I know they are in God's hands. I know I am, too. Thank you, Lord for this golden year. Thank you for helping me soak up the moments that pass so quickly and for giving me the best kids ever!
This Golden Year couldn't have happened without you, Samuel and Evelyn. Thanks for being so much fun and making me laugh! I am so excited for the adventure of childhood and all the new and exciting things that come with it. Let it begin!!!!!!!
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