My Insurance To Not "Judge" Moms
Well, I am sitting here with a swollen face once again trying to fight an infection in the bone of my face. My house is a mess, my laundry is way over do, and I need to make a trip to the grocery store realllllllly badly, but I am too afraid of the crazy hand, foot, and mouth going around to take my children anywhere near a shared grocery vehicle. I would like to say my Bible is split in half by my couch, because I have been reading it so much, but the truth is that Evy got a hold of it and went to town. The amount of times we have watched classic Mickey cartoons this week is absurd and there was a scorpion in my bedroom yesterday. Although all of these reasons may be why you think I say I have insurance to not judge other moms, it is actually just a cherry on top of my real reason! ;) (I'm even blogging with all this going and have watched "Elle's Whats Up Moms" youtube channel in my "spare" time, so that can be added;) My real insurance to not judge other moms is the birth order God gave my family and watching Evelyn inhale broccoli at lunch like it was going out of style.
With Samuel, I did everything as "healthy" and by the book as possible. I nursed him a year, didn't give him anything but vegetables for a long time so that he would not get used to carbs etc. and want them more. I spent most of my time playing with him and taking him on outings. I scheduled play dates so he could socialize and daily walked him to an indoor pool for exercise and enjoyment. I poured over babycenter and articles to make sure I was doing everything right. I even had an in home developmental specialist come to see Samuel on a regular basis from four months on for extra measure. I did sleep training to try to ensure the right amount of sleep and nap. You get the idea;). With Evelyn, I flew by the seat of my pants and never even glanced at my babycenter app. I just hoped we were all happy and in one piece at the end of the day. I did a million "no, nos" of health nuts im sure and chocolate was her first food to try. You get the picture.
Well, Samuel cried at every play date I tried to socialize him at, wouldn't eat anything and still wont, woke up at five and still does, and does pretty much everything not by the book. It takes a thirty minute routine to get Samuel to be peaceful in his bed. Evelyn, eats anything and absolutely loves vegetables. She sleeps from 6:30-9 am on a regular basis with absolutely no routine other than just putting her in her bed. She has never "cried it out" even once. She sleeps in even later several times a week and doesn't cry for us to come get her. At play dates has fun with other babies etc. She has met every milestone almost to the day of when she is supposed to and I have spent a lot less time with her than I did with Samuel being the only child. Evelyn loves vegetables and she loves sleep and I had nothing to do with it! Samuel hates vegetables and sleep and I had everything to do with it! LOL Samuel is also one of the gentlest toddlers with babies and is so incredibly sweet and most of that was not taught, he just always has been. I remember when I was first pregnant and Samuel was severely behind in his milestones and having a lot of trouble eating good foods, someone said to me "are you going to try and do things differently with the next one?" (You mean, NOT TRY, because I did the best I could- was my incredibly discouraged thought) I responded that I had done the best I could and that was all I said.
As moms, there is a lot we can teach our kids and try to do, but sometimes things do not happen how you envision them happening. When you see a mom who has a toddler that's eating a cheeseburger and she is happy he is just eating something, or a mom who's eyes are swollen from being tired the first response most people have is to give advice and judge. There is a time for advice, and a moment to always be open that maybe my advice doesn't work with every baby. Babies are all different and so are moms. I believe in always trying my best and helping my kids be healthy, but behind every tired mom is a story and behind every story there are highs and lows. My insurance to not judge is that my only child is not Evelyn, because if I just had her- I would be the most judgmental mom on the block. Samuel is my gift in a billion ways, but one of my favorite gifts he has given me is humility. I say to him every night that I love him so much just the way he is and the truth is- I REALLY DO! Just the way he is....and Evelyn just the way she is! Samuel is my gift from God of humility and Evelyn is my gift from God of GRACE! I hear Evelyn playing in her bed now....gotta go! :)
With Samuel, I did everything as "healthy" and by the book as possible. I nursed him a year, didn't give him anything but vegetables for a long time so that he would not get used to carbs etc. and want them more. I spent most of my time playing with him and taking him on outings. I scheduled play dates so he could socialize and daily walked him to an indoor pool for exercise and enjoyment. I poured over babycenter and articles to make sure I was doing everything right. I even had an in home developmental specialist come to see Samuel on a regular basis from four months on for extra measure. I did sleep training to try to ensure the right amount of sleep and nap. You get the idea;). With Evelyn, I flew by the seat of my pants and never even glanced at my babycenter app. I just hoped we were all happy and in one piece at the end of the day. I did a million "no, nos" of health nuts im sure and chocolate was her first food to try. You get the picture.
Well, Samuel cried at every play date I tried to socialize him at, wouldn't eat anything and still wont, woke up at five and still does, and does pretty much everything not by the book. It takes a thirty minute routine to get Samuel to be peaceful in his bed. Evelyn, eats anything and absolutely loves vegetables. She sleeps from 6:30-9 am on a regular basis with absolutely no routine other than just putting her in her bed. She has never "cried it out" even once. She sleeps in even later several times a week and doesn't cry for us to come get her. At play dates has fun with other babies etc. She has met every milestone almost to the day of when she is supposed to and I have spent a lot less time with her than I did with Samuel being the only child. Evelyn loves vegetables and she loves sleep and I had nothing to do with it! Samuel hates vegetables and sleep and I had everything to do with it! LOL Samuel is also one of the gentlest toddlers with babies and is so incredibly sweet and most of that was not taught, he just always has been. I remember when I was first pregnant and Samuel was severely behind in his milestones and having a lot of trouble eating good foods, someone said to me "are you going to try and do things differently with the next one?" (You mean, NOT TRY, because I did the best I could- was my incredibly discouraged thought) I responded that I had done the best I could and that was all I said.
As moms, there is a lot we can teach our kids and try to do, but sometimes things do not happen how you envision them happening. When you see a mom who has a toddler that's eating a cheeseburger and she is happy he is just eating something, or a mom who's eyes are swollen from being tired the first response most people have is to give advice and judge. There is a time for advice, and a moment to always be open that maybe my advice doesn't work with every baby. Babies are all different and so are moms. I believe in always trying my best and helping my kids be healthy, but behind every tired mom is a story and behind every story there are highs and lows. My insurance to not judge is that my only child is not Evelyn, because if I just had her- I would be the most judgmental mom on the block. Samuel is my gift in a billion ways, but one of my favorite gifts he has given me is humility. I say to him every night that I love him so much just the way he is and the truth is- I REALLY DO! Just the way he is....and Evelyn just the way she is! Samuel is my gift from God of humility and Evelyn is my gift from God of GRACE! I hear Evelyn playing in her bed now....gotta go! :)
You are so wise! This is a beautiful post and so rich in truth.
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