Things I've Learned Lately
I am going to use the name "Janie" for our little one. This is not her real name, but a meaningful one to me.
1. When I have read about how God has adopted us as His own, I always felt like I was His "good deed". I was, but it is so much more than that. When he took me into His family, it was His good pleasure to have me as his daughter. When Janie was brought to our door, I felt a miracle in my heart take place. I felt the love God had for Janie and for me and for all of us on a level I hadn't experienced before. I don't know what the certain future of this sweetheart is, for now we are her foster family for a season and that is what I know. She is not legally adopted, but she is our family, as loved and as included as my biological children and this is what she and all foster children deserve. I am living for today, and today she is grafted into our family until we are told differently and that day she will still be prayed for as my own forever, even if only meant for our home for a time. All that said, these weeks have shown me through new eyes what God feels when he takes us in as His own children. The joy of loving Janie has surpassed all of my expectations. She does not have any way to repay me, but that is not what I am thinking about. I am thinking about what a delight and beauty she is in my life. I am thinking about how precious and what a treasure she is. I feel God speaking to my heart that when I feel unable to repay Him, He wants to show me that His love finds great delight in me and He isn't thinking of that. He is thinking of how special he thinks I am and that he would go as far as the grave to have me as His own for eternity, without any expectation that I could have the capacity to pay him back. Our love for him is what he desires. He wants a relationship and this is one of the most fascinating and wonderful realities. We matter to God in a way that's incomprehensible. This is too wonderful for my heart to take in, but I will spend my life trying to wrap my mind around it and it will keep giving me a reason to have joy, even in pain. He loves Janie more than I can comprehend and this truth comforts me. I pray she knows it.
2. God's love left the comfort zone of his throne to come to earth and pay the ultimate price of pain for love. True love denies comfort and does what is best for the one being loved. It doesn't matter the price of pain it takes to love, when its God's love. It matters that the one who is loved is put before personal comfort zones. Jesus showed us this on the cross in the complete sacrifice of perfect love. I left my comfort zone this month. I opened my heart to a situation that would prove to be one of the most beautiful and painful I would ever walk through. Knowing God called me here is my lifeline. I know he is transforming me and teaching me about love beyond my own comfort. True love is painful sometimes...and so incredibly beautiful and worth it. Janie is SO worth it.
More to say, but I must sleep. Zzzz:)
1. When I have read about how God has adopted us as His own, I always felt like I was His "good deed". I was, but it is so much more than that. When he took me into His family, it was His good pleasure to have me as his daughter. When Janie was brought to our door, I felt a miracle in my heart take place. I felt the love God had for Janie and for me and for all of us on a level I hadn't experienced before. I don't know what the certain future of this sweetheart is, for now we are her foster family for a season and that is what I know. She is not legally adopted, but she is our family, as loved and as included as my biological children and this is what she and all foster children deserve. I am living for today, and today she is grafted into our family until we are told differently and that day she will still be prayed for as my own forever, even if only meant for our home for a time. All that said, these weeks have shown me through new eyes what God feels when he takes us in as His own children. The joy of loving Janie has surpassed all of my expectations. She does not have any way to repay me, but that is not what I am thinking about. I am thinking about what a delight and beauty she is in my life. I am thinking about how precious and what a treasure she is. I feel God speaking to my heart that when I feel unable to repay Him, He wants to show me that His love finds great delight in me and He isn't thinking of that. He is thinking of how special he thinks I am and that he would go as far as the grave to have me as His own for eternity, without any expectation that I could have the capacity to pay him back. Our love for him is what he desires. He wants a relationship and this is one of the most fascinating and wonderful realities. We matter to God in a way that's incomprehensible. This is too wonderful for my heart to take in, but I will spend my life trying to wrap my mind around it and it will keep giving me a reason to have joy, even in pain. He loves Janie more than I can comprehend and this truth comforts me. I pray she knows it.
2. God's love left the comfort zone of his throne to come to earth and pay the ultimate price of pain for love. True love denies comfort and does what is best for the one being loved. It doesn't matter the price of pain it takes to love, when its God's love. It matters that the one who is loved is put before personal comfort zones. Jesus showed us this on the cross in the complete sacrifice of perfect love. I left my comfort zone this month. I opened my heart to a situation that would prove to be one of the most beautiful and painful I would ever walk through. Knowing God called me here is my lifeline. I know he is transforming me and teaching me about love beyond my own comfort. True love is painful sometimes...and so incredibly beautiful and worth it. Janie is SO worth it.
More to say, but I must sleep. Zzzz:)
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